The Lamentations of Letting Go

“Do you think it’s time yet?”

“I think so, but I’m afraid to.”

I have been uncertain and edgy about letting my obsession go, but thank you for letting me know that it’s okay. Becuase sometimes I just feel scared and self conscious about moving on from something I’ve convinced everyone that I would never let go. Of course, this is not the first time that I’ve been in this situation; many obsessions have crossed my path that I’ve held onto tightly. But whenever it comes to the time to move on, a part of me is afraid to. Afraid of what others will think of me. It feels like breaking a promise to a 6-year-old girl. Thank you for telling me that it’s time to move on; that it’s okay. And even though my grip will loosen from this, it will always be a part of me. It’s a hard decision to make, and I know that I can’t make it in secret. Soon it will be a fact spread across my world.

But I guess that’s life.

Memories are buried so deep down, so strongly rooted in my obsession, it’s hard to let go. And sometimes the feeling of betrayal resonates too deeply within me, I can’t bear the transition.

But it must come. Eventually.

I can’t stay like this forever. It will take time but my love will never disappear forever.

And even now as I think about it, I can cherish all of the little memories with a sweet taste in my mouth rather than a dreadfulness in my heart. A kind of bitter sweetness.

But thank you for helping me to be the best possible me.

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